Jurassic Classic
by Allen Grier
Summary: Roy and his crewminions get a mission to investigate a deserted island off the coast of Costa Rica. Little do they know that it's NOT deserted.
1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

"Look, Ed!" Al called excitedly. Since they had nothing better to do as they waited on the pompous Mustangs orders, Edward Elric decided to take his little brother(Who was clearly much taller than Ed thanks to the suit of armor his soul was encased in)Alphonse to the museum in Central.

"Yeah, yeah. Big skeletons, big deal! Really, Alphonse, why do dinosaurs amaze you? I mean, sure, they were pretty big but obviously very dumb. I mean, there isn't a single one left that's alive." Ed protested, obviously very angry with his choice to bring Al to this place.

"Come on Ed, you can't say you're not enjoying this. At least your away from the colonel." Al said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."Ed replied with a long sigh.

"Besides, Ed, look! He's your height and I bet he was just as smart!" Alphonse said pointing to the skeleton of a Velociraptor. Well, at least that's what the sign said.

"WHAT did you say Alphonse?" Ed whispered menacingly.

Al jumped when he realized what he said. "Um... Nothing brother! Nothing at all!" Al said, trembling from fear.

Ed bursted with laughter. "Calm down, Al! No need to worry! I was just kidding!" Ed smirked.

"Right. Hehe..." Al managed a small laugh. A few more minutes passed and Ed decided to finish examining the Velociraptor skeleton and go retrieve Al who looked horrified.

"What's wrong bro?" he asked Al worriedly. Al pointed to an abnormally small skeleton. Ed's never seen one like it, although, he never had much taste in dinosaurs.

"It's nothing." Al said, looking at Ed.

"You sure? You look terrible." Ed looked over Al's shoulder. "Let me guess. It's that." he pointed to a small skeleton, like a tiny Velociraptor. "That's the smallest dinosaur skeleton I've ever seen!" he cried. "It's kinda cute. There's no reason to be afraid of something that small!"

"Well, Ed, little things can happen to be pretty vicious. I mean, look at you. No offence." Al pointed out.

"What do you mean Al? I'm as docile as a kitten!" Ed said, taken aback. Just then a man walked by.

"Hey! It's the FullMetal Alchemist! " he said, looking at Al. Al pointed to Ed. "Oh. Sorry, I didn't expect the FullMetal Alchemist to be so short. He's like one of those little sweet and sour shrimp."

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" Ed screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Sorry,it didn't mean anything by it! Geeze. Sour yes." he said walking away.

"SCREW YOU ASSHOLE!" Ed called after him making a very rude hand gesture.

"Yeah, docile as a Lion cub." laughed Al under his breath.

"I heard that!" Ed said, looking furious. "Anyway." he said, calming down. We should go get Winry now. She's probably just as bored as I am by now."

"Yeah, you're right. Let's go." said Al, taking a quick glance back at the little skeleton labeled Compsognuthus.

As they were leaving to find Winry, they heard a loud scream coming from the next room. The two of them hurried down the hall, dreading what they would find when they entered. It was worse than they thought. When they entered the room, they saw Winry inside a large skull of some sort of dinosaur, Ed didn't recognize it. "Winry? What the hell are you doing up there?" Ed called. "Get down here!" She looked at Ed and gave him a small smile. Ed could tell it was threatening.

"Tyrannosaurus Rex. 18 feet tall and 42 feet long. It weighed 5 tons and could live to be up to 100 years old AND could eat their own weight in meat every week! They even cared for their offspring instead of leaving them to fend for themselves!" she read from a golden plaque she stole from below. "It's so fascinating isn't it Ed?" she asked, and with a quivering grin,began pounding at the skull with her wrench.

"Winry? What the hell are you doing?" Ed screamed, panicking! "O my god, even my salary won't pay for this damage!" he said dancing around madly, until he felt a sharp pain in the back of his skull and he was out cold. Winry then pulled out another(but more rusted) wrench.

"Winry, please sto-" Al was cut off.

"Not another word tin man or you'll end up like him!" she said pointing to Ed. Without warning, she began jumping up and down on top of the skull. All of a sudden, there was a loud crack and the skull began to fall along with every other bone making up the skeleton, which had pummeled Ed in the back one too many times. "Catch me!" she called jumping off, landing on Ed's back.

"My... Back..." he said, lying on the ground twitching.

"Yay! You're awake! Carry me!" she said.

"Don't count on it. You've caused enough trouble today." Ed replied.

"EXCUSE ME?" a man called from the doorway, obviously VERY angry. "SECURITY!" Of course it was another 2 hours before they gave Ed a chance to tell them that he could fix it, but unfortunately, they got out too late. They missed Mustang's meeting. Not too disappointed, Ed began fussing about getting something to eat. Just as he lost the battle, they noticed a familiar face coming down the street.

"Edward, the Colonel wants to know when you'll be visiting him. It's been over an hour since the appointment. It's very urgent." said a black haired woman, saluting Ed.

"Oh, right. Sorry Lt. Ross. We had a slight problem, but everything's fine now. No need to worry." Ed smiled. Obviously Maria knew it wasn't a slight problem. "Well, we better get moving. Let's go Al, Winry!" He called, running towards Central headquarters.


	2. Chapter 1 : Mission

Chapter 1 : Mission

"Great, something to add to the headache!" Ed laughed

"He says its urgent. He needs to see you as soon as possible." Lt. Ross stated.

"We haven't seen him for a while. It may be good to pay the Col. a visit." Al said. "Winry, are you coming too?"

"Yeah, I'll come along. It should be funny to see the look on Ed's face when he gets another unreasonable task. Besides, I wanna talk to Riza. I haven't heard from her in a while."

Col. Mustang's Office

The trio knocked at the door and got a quick reply. "Come on in boys. It's about time you got here. I've been waiting." Col. Mustang said with a smile.

"Yeah, we kinda ran into Lt. Ross and she told us to find you." Ed replied. "So, what's the job this time?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well, the Furer wants my entire office to be an escort for someone to some island of the coast of a small country known as Costa Rica. Why he needs us all, I don't know. It's very short notice, but Winry and Alphonse can tag along if they'd like." Mustang explained.

"Really!?" Winry asked excitedly.

"Only if you really want to." Mustang smirked.

"Of course! We'd love to!"Al exclaimed.

"Great... Just another 'vacation' of hers I have to pay for." Ed grumbled.

"What was that!?" Winry snapped, facing the younger brother.

"Er... Nothing!" Ed replied innocently.

"Great. Winry, call you Grandmother and pack your belongings as quickly as possible. Fullmetal, take Winry shopping for some clothes and other personal items she may need." Mustang commanded.

"I am NOT buying her anymore expensive things! I'm in debt enough because of her as it is!"

"We'll be hiking, so you're not buying anything fancy. Stick to the simple necessities. No dresses or skirts." Mustang answered him.

"Wow, it must have really pained you to say those last five words." Ed commented with a big grin. The Col. smiled.

"You need to get ready. I'll see you in Costa Rica sometime tomorrow. Remember to be on the plane to Costa Rica within the next twenty-four hours. I'll see you there." He said as he got up and walked out. "You're dismissed."

Outside Central Headquarters

"Well, first on our to-do list is to get Winry some new clothes. Remember Winry, no dresses or skirts." Ed told her.

"Not a problem! Let's go! We've gotta hurry!"

After Winry's Shopping Spree

"Finally done! Damn it, Winry! Do you realize you just spent six hours in there!? What happened to 'We gotta hurry'!?" Ed asked, rushing them onward. "What did you buy, anyway? You were in there long enough!"

"Not too much. Six pairs of shorts, five pairs of heavy-duty pants, a couple pairs of shoes, a pair of hiking boots, and 5 heavy-duty shirts. Oh, and I hope you don't mind, but I just made your limit... So I have no change at all." she said, smiling like it was nothing.

"Great. now I have to go get more money too." Ed sighed.

"I DID get you something too, Ed. I'll wait until we get back to your place to give it to you!" she said happily, and evil grin spread across her face.

"Do I even WANT to know?" Ed asked, his arms drooping in front of him as he walked.

Elric's Residence, Central HQ Dorms

Ed knocked on the bathroom door, finally tired of waiting. "Winry, hurry up! Ive got to get in there too ya know!"

"Calm down Ed! I'll take as long as I want!" she shouted back.

"Damn it, Winry! We're going to be late!" He sighed and walked into the kitchen. Then, he noticed something out of the corner of his eyes.The bags Al, Winry, and he carried back from Winry's shopping 'adventure'. He decided to go through them since he had nothing better to do.

Ed could feel anger building up inside. First off, he pulled out much more clothes than she said she bought. Second, many small machine parts and other metal pieces. Third, there was makeup, jewelry, and other feminine necessities. The last thing he pulled out was a big round container, wrapped in white tissue paper. There was a card attached to it as well. He detached the card and opened it and began to read aloud.

"Dear Ed,

Thanks for buying me all this great stuff. Sorry about spending all of your money. Really, I am. I did get you something though. After your mission, I was wondering if we could go back to Resembol for a bit. We could visit Grandma and Den, and I could fix up your Automail. I'm really hoping you consider it. Thanks again.

Love,

Winry"

"Damn Winry." Ed whispered, smiling. he began to peel away the white tissue paper. he closed his eyes and ripped it off. When he opened his eyes, he was astonished. There it was, terror in a large circular package. A five pound container of raw shrimp.

"WINRY!?" Ed screamed. A yelp could be heard from behind the bathroom door, and the door swung open. Winry ran from the bathroom to see what was the matter. "What the hell is... this..." Ed said, no longer focused on the shrimp container. His face very slowly began to change to a deep red.

"What's wrong..." Winry asked, but before Ed replied, she already knew, and feared his reply. Winry stood outside the restroom, not a single article of clothing on her body.

"Winry!" Ed screamed covering his eyes.

"You pervert! You did that on purpose! Quit looking!!" She screamed, retreating to the bathroom and slamming the door behind her. Ed stared at the shrimp container in disbelief. Disbelief at both his gift, and what he just saw. He threw the gift in one of the shopping bags and began to regain his composure. He looked over to the clock on the wall. Panic began to flow through his body.

"Winry! Alphonse!" he called. "The plane leaves in an hour! We have to hurry!" Winry emerged from the bathroom, still blushing, but fully clothed. She didn't say a word. Al suddenly appeared and the trio raced off to the airport, carrying their belongings in their arms.


End file.
